a world with no bad

what would it be like to be the only person in the world? no one to knock on my door, no one to call my phone, no one to come searching for me. i wonder what it would be like for all the bad men in the world to suddenly go away. where would they go? would i be the one that disappeared? in this small little world of mine, there is no bad. does that mean there is no good? with no one to wipe my tears, i would let them fall to the ground, and as the earth would have it, eventually i would drink them again. by the time they reached me i would not even recognize them. in a world with no bad, i hope to be the only good. but who is there to share it with?

how long did it take before the cavemen realized there were others in the world? how long until they started searching for warmth? how many people did it take to start the first fire?

affirmations for the faint of heart

I am resilient, I am resourceful, I am worthy, 

they say.

Why yes, I am also battered. I am also nursing a bruise and the child inside me and her bruises, too.

I am tired, and angry, and scaling a mountain with frayed rope.

But I am resilient. I am resilient. I am resilient.

After all, I am both my father’s smallest child and my grandmother’s greatest wish. I am the lone woman in the field. I am witness to and victim of and perpetrator within.

I am climbing into the empty well. I am going hungry. I am holding my destroyer's hand and bargaining with God.

I am resourceful. I am a thief. I am worthy of what I stole.

One day, 

I 

will be the one holding the gun.

Wednesday Journal Prompts

1. What from the first half of the week am I bringing in to the second half of the week?

2. What am I leaving behind? Why does this not serve me anymore?

3. How much mental distance is there between Wednesday and the weekend?

4. Am I satisfied with the progress I’ve made so far this week? What are some ways I can reward or encourage myself to push through to Friday?

5. Am I living for the weekend? What nice or fun things have I done from Monday to now?

how dizzy, this thing. 

this dance around our soft earth, 

my tender orbit.

Untitled

    somewhere between my stomach and my throat there is a wound the size of a twin bed. the type almost too small to fit a body, a thing so fluid and large and red hot with lust. there’s blood on these sheets. but it’s so warm, this bed, this gaping hole. a strange place. sometimes i reach my fist deep inside to see how bad it still pains. sprawling my limbs edge to edge. twisting my fingers around measuring what’s left to scar. it is still tender to the touch, but only on the days i remember its presence. there’s blood on these sheets. no good on the eyes. oh, my eyes! what i would have done to have unseen a heart so drained and devoid of life. i would have never laid my head there. i would have rotted the wood beneath my back and sent us both to purgatory. i would have. there’s blood on these sheets. who is to launder this damage, truly? perhaps grief, enveloping me while i sleep here. and still i tend to this salted wound. covering myself.

Invisible Me (07.20.2025)